When does it get easier?

It’s early on, I know. I just need it to start getting easier, when he finds new female-interests.

I think I did pretty well when he told me he there was a woman he wanted to meet. I didn’t freak out, I didn’t cry. I did have the feeling of ‘oh great, here we go again.’ I still get the feeling of loss, when I guess at this point I haven’t lost anything. He is still my husband, he still loves me, we still live together, I’m not going to lose him, and he will try his best to accommodate and reassure me when I need him to.

We are into BDSM. My husband is a Dominate. I am not a submissive and he is on the prowl for someone that can meet his needs on that level.  This woman is apparently interested in some bondage play time.

Although he expressed desire to meet her next week for lunch, I asked him to instead see if she was okay with a mid-morning Sunday meet instead. It is easier for me to get his date(s) off my mind when I am doing something myself. I recently purchased a Groupon for 20 yoga classes. I signed up for my first one on Sunday @ 10:30 and asked him to arrange his date (if possible) to be on a date while I am at yoga. This (I hope!) will enable me to concentrate on my mind, body, and soul. I’m hoping that these classes will really help me get in tune with myself. My hope is that yoga helps me with my mental health and encourages me to become that individual I used to be and can be again. One that accepts that her lover may have other partners and is happy about it and encourages it.

Right now, I’m not really freaking out. I’m happy about that. I’m thinking ‘okay, I can do this. It is just a meet, not a sex session, calm down!’

I can do this.


One response to “When does it get easier?”

  1. bloodofthefae says :

    Hug hug hug. I can remember my initail freak out when bugg first had sex with cxd. It sucked. Almost a year (best year of our lives) later. its easier

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